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| man, from now on i am not going to worry myself with rex taylor skunda. why? because he is not worth any of my time. he's stupid, and immature. and honestly, yr fucking stupid if while yr trying to get back with me, yr trying to hook me up with yr friends? come the fuck on. he's dumb, young, and immature. and i'm over that. i'm going to completly cut myself off from him[hopefully], and i know rochelle, this means even sex. i'm just going to have to deal with being in a drought until i can find someone worthwhile. geez-looise. time to be single, but, i'm used to it. i think of this as a sign that I'M personally growing up and maturing enough to realize what it good enough for me. oh well, i'm outttt. maybe over to vannah's? who knows?. | | |
| you ever see those "what yr eyes say about you?" and "what yr hair color says about you?" quizzes? more than likely yes. WELL i'm here to put them to the test against me. i figured..hey. im bored as fuck. i'm not tired, and these kids are being a ciggblock, so why not? Green Eyes: People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the horniest. They long for the touch of another. Analysis: i mean i guess i can be a passionate person, but i don't really 'do' relationships, BUT when i date, it tends to last for a while. um i do get pretttty horny, but then again so does everyone else so unless theres a hornyMETER somewhere around here, im not quite sure how to measure that. and i LOVE the physical touch of the opposite sex. kissing, holding hands, cuddling,.etc.etc. i love that shit. Brown Hair: smart, sophisticated, and a little on the serious side. down-to-earth and reliable, so, people know they can count on u to keep promises. everyone listens to what u have to say. Analysis: i do consider myself smart, somewhat on the serious side. not quite sure about sophisticated though. i am really down-to-earth and reliable. i do keep promises to people, and people do listen to what i have to say i suppose, just not often? hmm. all in all, some aspects were consistent. others were just off. but what do you expect? its the internet for fucks sake! | | |
| i just got done watching PHILEDELPHIA. that is seriously an amazing movie. like....it got me thinking like so much, just about life and everything. i'm still like sitting here, with tears on my cheeks from that movie. and there are somethings about myself that i absolutely hate. like the fact that i can be completely undecisive. normally this isnt the case except for a few situations, mainly the 'rex' thing. one day i've decided for myself, noone else, that i am through with him. maybe we'll keep messing around or whatever just because its so conveinient. and then after we 'chilled' yesterday, its just like i'm in love with him once again. i mean, i know i'm not really. its just all these feelings just flooded back, telling me that i really do think i should give us another shot. but at the same time my head is telling me that it would be better for myself, if i were to just cut him off completely. the only thing is...its not that easy. So, tell me...which do i follow? my head?......or my heart? people are constantly asking themselves this very same question. i wish there was a simple, one sided answer to it, but theres not. everyone is different. no one person is alike. personally, ive always followed my heart. let my emotions guide me through life. how has this done me so far? i'm not quite sure. this is awkward. writing all this in a blog for all of the world to see. for everyone who cares to know to indulge themselves in my thoughts and the inner-workings of my life. damn. i just miss seeing my best friend. the main point of writing on this shit, is because dros on fucking lockdown, and this is basically me talking to her. like we would everyday afterschool, before school, during school, whenever. talking about everything. i wanna be stoned as fuck. | | |
| My scariest dream was one where I was trapped in this room, some random room that I've never seen before, and all of a sudden all of these faces started appearing in the walls, with blood all around their faces. And people started coming out of the floor reaching and grabbing for me. That's all I remember, it was a long time ago.
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|  Let's start now at the VERY beginning of my day...
DETOUR..I JUST scared the shit out of myself. I looked down just in concentration to try and find where to start this entry. As I was looking down I saw the like head of someone right next to my brown bag. It scared me worse than when I saw that spinning guys head on the commercial for the unborn, in fact it almost looked exactly like that, except worse. It was just a glimpse, a few seconds perhaps. But it sure as hell was enough to get my heart beating faster than it should if I'm sober, and now I'm even feeling a wee bit nauseous. Okay now back to my story.... 12-3.30 am: Blazing, Chillen over at Savannah's house with her 'crew' and some other wierdish dudes. I mean overall they were fairly okay. One of them reminded me so much of my friend Jeff Watts, this guy who tries so hard to come off as funny to impress everyone. Except this guy was actually funny, and pretty chill. At about 3.40ish my mom came to pick me up and I went home and crashed til she woke up this morning at about 9 something. I've been exhausted all day. Later my dad comes and picks me up to take me back home. We get there and there's some workers working on my upstairs bathroom for some reason., which isn't a big deal. But when I realize that there's like no food in our house, and that we're not going grocery shopping until they leave, I start to get very frustrated. This was about 1 something..it's now 5.36 on the dot, and I still haven't eated. I've been so fucking bored all day. I completely did a renovation on my myspace page which I love now. And I've been jammin to Bring Me The Horizon and Pink Floyd all day. I wanna borrow their CD from vannah that way I can make a copy of it or something. And what else sucks is that I only got to talk to Dro on the phone for a little bit today, which is NOT sufficient. Apparently, according to her dad and mom now?, I'm a bad influence or whatever their reasoning is for not letting her...for such a simple little whore...sorry got distracted.... oh, their reasoning for not letting her even hang out with me until she turns 18? Yeah that's going to make your daughter want to keep the least bit in contact with you guys after March 23. Oh My God! These guys have their fans to dry the paint on full speed and I can no longer hear my music. What fucking dicks! :) | | |
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